Marcia, Marcia, Marcia — York writer revives her editorial offerings

Hi! It’s been awhile and I’m glad to be back. Thanks to JustMelanieW for the chance to be marcia, marcia, marcia once more!

Gee whiz, it has been long enough I don’t quite know where to start. Let’s see … what’s new … well, not my husband — same Jay. Not my house; same frame dwelling. Not my shape; same chubby me. Think, think, think … hmmm … well … there just might be a lot to share. So much, that I will probably have to take it one thing at a time. Hopefully we will all learn something, or at least be entertained.

Whether or not you have missed me, please know I have missed you. I have been writing all these years, albeit, not as much as I probably should have, and am grateful for this reason to write.

The most life altering event since I last wrote was the passing of our daughter, Heidi, on January 4, in 2014. Heidi was 39 and about-a-half years of age. Her two children, Ben and Margie, were 10 and 8 at the time. It all happened so fast. What Heidi thought was a bout of the stomach flu turned out to be so much more. And in four short days, our world had changed forever.

When Heidi was admitted into KU Med Center in Kansas City we started a Caring Bridge page. It’s on that page I’ve written these 10 years. On her birthday and the anniversary of her death … keeping her memory, the essence of Heidi, alive. So I think I will start by sharing a bit from Caring Bridge.

First penned in December of last year.

Three thousand, six hundred and fifty days

On January 4, 2014 our lives were forever changed when we lost our Heidi. She was a daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, cousin and friend. She was my first child and if she survived that I was sure she would survive anything. I learned so much from her starting on that first day, July 8, 1974. And I was still learning when she passed. And I miss her so.

A person hears a lot about the “new normal” when someone passes … I heard about it and I waited for it, but no one let me know when it arrived.

I’ve been crying a lot lately and trying to figure out why. Usually I can pinpoint the reason and I believe I am onto something when I say, “For ten years I have been strong … and I think I’m done.” My tears seem to have a mind of their own …

In January of 2014, when Heidi passed away, Ben was 10 years old and Margie nearly 8. Now they are 20 and almost 18. Their lives have changed … I could not be prouder of the two of them. I could not be more grateful for the times we have had with them. But that is all changing too …  with the end of high school, the college years and lives of their own.

Heidi loved quotes and I found this one … it seems appropriate for this time. I will admit I didn’t know who Craig D. Lounsbrough was when I found this … but apparently he is a counselor in Colorado who has written books. Anyway, it fits …

“Any new beginning is forged from the shards of the past, not from the abandonment of the past.” Craig D. Lounsbrough

I like the shards part … I picture Heidi’s life as a collection of magnificent glass pieces in a full range of color, shapes and sizes. A sparkling mosaic of beautiful memories you would never want to abandon no matter how many years pass by.

Honestly, how can it have been ten years and yet, how can it have been only ten? At first I marked time in hours and then days, weeks, months and finally years. Ten years since our lives changed … 3,650 days … ten times the “Seasons of Love” … ten times this song:

“Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure

Measure a year?

In daylights?

In sunsets?

In midnights?

In cups of coffee?

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?

In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?

How about love?

How about love?

Measure in love

Seasons of love

Seasons of love

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned

Or in times that he cried?

In bridges he burned

Or the way that she died?

It’s time now to sing out

Though the story never ends

Let’s celebrate, remember a year in the life

Of friends

Remember the love

(Oh, you’ve got to, you’ve got to remember the love)

Remember the love

(You know that love is a gift from up above)

Remember the love

(Share love, give love, spread your love, measure your life in love)

Seasons of love

Seasons of love (measure your life, measure your life in love)”

Songwriters: Jonathan D. Larson. For non-commercial use only.

So I welcome the beginning of our next ten years … years forged from those colorful shards of glass. Years fused together with love and remembrance. Bring on the daylights, sunsets, and coffees and midnights and laughter in strife. Bring on ten more years of remembering her life.

 

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