The World According to Rico – Note to self

There is a weekly segment on CBS Mornings where they feature people who write “a note to self” – it’s a letter they write to their younger selves about lessons they learned along the way.

It’s really good and super inspiring.

Basically, the person tells their younger self all the things they will go through in life, how to roll with the punches and how they will come out better in the end.

So, as I sat down at the computer this week, to write my Monday column, I thought I’d do the same.

So here is my note to my younger self – even though I’m just a six-month-old Keeshond puppy, I have learned some lessons along the way.

To the eight-week-old me:

You will find yourself being cuddled by a strange woman as she proclaims you are the cutest thing she’d ever seen. Just go with it. I know, it’s a bit much being complimented like that, but trust me, you will need her to believe you are cute because you will commit sins along the way where she will temporarily want to kill you. Just remember, you are cute, you are cute, you are cute. Believe it. Feel it. Make it your own.

The guy who will drive you home to York will always have your back. He will make sure you have everything you need. You will want to see him more than you will get to, but make sure to appreciate the hours you have his attention because they make up for the time he’s away at work. He will be the first to be stern, but also the first to notice your voice and hair changes.

You will meet a blond lady named Leenie who says she is your aunt. Be nice to her and try not to untie her shoes. Try not to tear apart toilet paper when she’s babysitting. You will do all those things, but make sure to turn on the charm as she will call you her little buddy, make you parcels of leftover meat for your dinners and play with you in wet grass. She’s a good one to have in your corner.

You will not fully understand the concept of being house trained. Matter of fact, you will be pretty bad at it. But don’t give up. Keep scratching that door when you have to go, plan ahead with your water intake before bedtime and remember if the folks leave, it might be for an hour. It’s all about being organized. Make an action plan. And I promise, one day you will get it, even if Mom loses hair over the ordeal.

Make sure you get up early on Tuesdays because it’s the best day of the week. While it’s still dark out, you will hear banging sounds in the back yard. That is your notice to get up and get moving. The sound is coming from the Kopcho’s trucks as they pick up the garbage in the back alley. You will have exactly 21 minutes before they come back around, down the street in front of the house. You will need to be in your staging area, which is near the mailbox. Make sure the drivers of the little trucks see you while picking up your neighbor’s garbage – dance, bark, stand on two legs, do what you have to do. They will pet you and love you and a nice man named Tommy Kopcho will bring you the biggest MilkBone you’ve ever seen in your life. Sure, your mom will have a box of MilkBones in the cupboard, but the Kopcho MilkBones are so much better. And get that little tail a waggin’ when they leave – that will ensure they’ll do it again next week.

Do not eat your food too fast. No matter how hungry you think you are or how good it tastes, just take your time. I say this because you will projectile vomit all over the folks’ bed (while they are in it), on your bed, in front of the bathroom door, in front of the front door, in the middle of the living room. Mom will clean up your vomit even though she hates it, but it’s just not a nice thing to do to her if it can be avoided. She will thank you for your restraint and you will thank me for the advice because not even dogs like to throw up.

You will find yourself with five chicken sisters who will look big at first, but you will quickly outgrow them. Do not pay them back for their early intimidation by being aggressive after you hit 30 pounds. The chicken named Crazy is on the verge of a breakdown without your taunting. Forgive them for their earlier discretions for they knew not what they did.

Be grateful for this job your mother hired you to do. Writing this column has been one of the best things that has ever happened to you. Sure, some people have no interest in reading what a puppy has to say, but there are some creative people out there who think it’s slightly entertaining. Yes, it’s hard coming up with a column every Monday but it forces you out of your comfort zone. This will be your positive outlet for expressing yourself. You will find that using this column to release your feelings will help you face your fears and overcome obstacles. Plus, it will keep you busy so you won’t be in trouble all the time.

A note to my younger Keeshond self – keep writing and not biting.

 

 

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