The World According to Rico – Spending treasured time alone

Everyone loves to spend time on their own, once in a while, and it’s during those special quiet moments we can indulge in what truly makes us happy.

Some of us like to waste hours watching deliciously obscene reality television.

Some of us like to eat junk food and listen to old music.

There are even people who like to deep clean their houses during precious free moments – I personally don’t know who they are, but I hear they are out there.

Some like to read about politics on the internet, although it’s probably not good for their mental health.

And others just truly love a good, solid, non-guilty nap with the blinds closed.

Some cerebrally healthy people read books while others have actual hobbies like crocheting and painting. Good for them.

The words “time off” mean real time alone when we can recharge and fuel our souls for the rest of our busy days.

All that said, I have found my true love when spending time alone. It’s glorious.

Yes, the folks have purchased for me all kinds of toys because I guess I’m spoiled. I have my stuffed ferret, my new stuffed girlfriend named Lamb Chop, my chew bones, four versions of balls, two versions of “chew tires” and a couple of squeaky toys. All that merchandise is delightful.

However, when it comes right down to it, all I need are the sticks I drug in from outside, the old yogurt cups I grabbed out of the garbage and the most astounding thing ever invented – toilet paper.

The other day, I realized the folks were negligent when leaving the bathroom as the toilet paper was dangling about an inch further down than normal. As soon as the door closed when my mom went to work, I ran with all my might to study that toilet paper opportunity. My goal for the morning was established and it was game on.

Let’s just say, it was the most fun morning I’ve ever had since arriving in York County. I’ve gone on excursions, I’ve run in Foster Park, I’ve mulled about the dog park and I’ve spent a lot of time at the place called Stone Creek. But this beautiful morning, spent alone in the quiet with a little Food Network playing in the background, I just decided to relax and do me. I chewed on my yogurt cups and happily unrolled the extra-large, brand new toilet paper parcel.

Does anyone know how many feet of toilet paper are on an extra-large roll? I don’t know for sure – there weren’t any yard sticks lying around for me to measure it. But I can attest to the fact there was a lot. So much so, I could stretch it from the bathroom, into the bedroom, to the kitchen and all around my little bed. I left some of it in large strips while I chewed some of it into tiny pieces all around my bed and pile of toys.

Every moment of my treasured time alone that morning was like standing on a mountain-top and wading into the ocean at the same time, with angels singing and rainbows coloring the sky. Every foot of that toilet paper made me giggle with joy, especially when I would just run with it from room to room until every space of the Wilkinson house was covered in white.

I even postponed my nap because I was in a toilet paper-infused trance.

I was in such a trance I didn’t even hear the folks come home. Until I heard a voice say, “Well, someone is having a busy day.”

I froze. I thought about hiding but knew there was nowhere to go because they’d still see me, with me being black and grey and the rest of my surroundings now being white.

That’s when I decided to just own my sins and admit how I love spending such treasured time alone. I simply laid on my bed and stared at the folks, expecting to hear more of the common word “No” and see the big broom come out once again.

Much to my surprise, the only thing they did was take pictures of the carnage and laugh. They seemed to enjoy my naughtiness.

I don’t know what they like to do when they have time alone because so far I haven’t witnessed it, but maybe they too like to unroll toilet paper in the house and chew on yogurt cups. They could be freaky that way, who knows?

Maybe it’s just that they understand we all need a little time alone once in a while, to do whatever we want to make us ready to take on the rest of the world.

And so I will continue in my quest of self-discovery and self-pampering, as long as they leave within my reach some toilet paper and yogurt cups.


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