The World According to Rico – A soggy doggy with a legacy I can’t live up to

 

It’s me, Rico. Just Rico.

I haven’t done much lately the last few days because it’s hot as Hades out and quite frankly I question why was I born in the year when apparently global weather situations are happening.

I mean major things – the horrible wildfires in Hawaii and the third time ever a hurricane hit Southern California and the desert area of the American Southwest, just to name a few.

Plus it is so incredibly hot. Really hot.

Fortunately, we have something to look forward to here, in York. Soggy Doggy Day, sponsored by the York Parks and Recreation Department, is just around the corner. Granted, I’m terrified of my little back yard pool, probably holding five gallons total, but my dad is convinced I will love having my toes in the zero-entry area of a place called the York Family Aquatic Center, which I hear is amazing.

And the folks are pretty sure I’ll love all the other dogs and their families because I’m so social. I promise I won’t bite. I’ll probably be too timid. We will see.

They think I will love it because my Great Uncle Bono — back in the 1990s — was incredibly aquatic for some reason.

As I have said before, I’m so sick and tired of hearing about their experiences with my Great Uncle Bono which then mold their expectations for me.

What I’ve heard about that uncle, that Damn Bono, who preceded me – well, Mom earlier wrote he had “watery brown eyes. Terrible breath. Hair that falls out in clumps, yet blew in the wind. An obsession with bowel movements and the next opportunity to eat. Strange sleeping patterns, yet an incredible energy to run for miles when getting the opportunity. An insatiable appetite for ice cream and products made of liver. A love of water. A need for catching something in the mouth and rolling over for a piece of bread.”

Well, I feel I’ve achieved all of that in two months; except for the love of water part.

I have to mention, however, how Bono got out one day, a million years ago, while the folks were at work, and he ran on top of an in-ground pool cover at Millie Mundorf’s house in Elgin. Well, he fell in — thankfully the beautician came home for lunch because he would have drown if she hadn’t found him. Thank God, Mom says, that Millie in her high heels, wonderful makeup and high hair somehow drug him out all by herself even though he was probably weighing about 50 pounds at that point. I hear the whole thing was a miracle – and even though it ruined Millie’s day, it saved his. And she got a few free red beers at their bar.

So much for his love of water.

But enough about Bono, let’s focus on the fact I am quite astounding in my own special way. I’ve done some pretty amazing things — like creating a need for my dad to make sure he comes home earlier in the evening even if he’s swamped at work. I can find a stray shoe a mile away; just by flipping over on my back I can get any treat I want; and I can destroy a toilet paper roll in less than 10 seconds. Those are some pretty solid skills.

So this week, while I wait for this whole Soggy Doggy event to arrive in order to prove I love water, I’ll stay in the air conditioning and chew as much ice as is offered.

Again, keep in mind Soggy Doggy is on the way.

It’s on Aug. 27, from 4:30-6 p.m., at the York Family Aquatic Center. I don’t know if I’ll be terrified or enthralled, but I can’t wait to see all of you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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